November, 2015

Doctor Vs Lawyer

A Doctor can’t find a job in any reputable hospital,so he opens a clinic near the law courts and puts a sign:”Get treatment for $20, if not cured, will give you $100.”
A lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and turns up at the clinic. Lawyer:”doctor,i’ve lost my sense of taste.”
Doctor:”Nurse,please bring me medicine from box 22 and put three drops in this patient”s mouth.” Lawyer:”This is kerosene.”
Doctor:congratulations sir, your sense of taste is restored. That will be $20 thank you.

The lawyer furious, and after a few days to recover his money.
Lawyer:”i’ve lost my memory.i can’t remember anything.”
Doctor:”Nurse, please bring me the medicine from box 22 and put three drops in this patient’s mouth.”
Lawyer:”This is kerosene.You gave this to me last time.”
Doctor:”congratulations again sir.You regained your memory. That will be $20 thank you.”

The lawyer is fuming, but returns a week later determined to collect $100.
Lawyer:”My eyesight has become incredibly weak and i can hardly see anything.”
Doctor:”Sir, i don’t have any medicine for that,so please accept this $100 note.
Lawyer:”but this is $20, not $100″
Doctor:”congratulations sir, your eyesight is fully restored. That will be $20 thank you.”

Educated Son

An uneducated father with his educated son went on a camping trip.They set-up their tent and fell asleep.

Some hours later, the father woke up his son.
Father – 

Look up to the sky and tell me what you see..
Son- 

I see millions of stars…
Father- 

And what does that tell you?
Son- 

Astronomically, it tells that there are millions of galaxies and planets.!
Father slaps the son hard and says- 

“Idiot, someone has stolen our tent”!!!
MORAL:
Too much education can spoil our common sense.

Story of Crochet a Doilies

There once was a man and a woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They talked about everything. They kept no secrets from each other… except that the old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she cautioned her husband never to open it or ask her about it.
For all these years he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would never recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside. She agreed it was time that he should know what was in the box.
When he opened it he found 2 beautifully crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling over $25,000. He asked her about the unusual contents.
“When we were married,” she said, ” my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily.”
The little old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with joy and happiness.
“Sweetheart,” he said… “that explains the doilies, but what about all this money? Where did it all come from?”
Oh,” she said, ” that’s the money I made from selling the doilies.”

How many Squares are there in this picture ?

Squares

Click Here to see the answer
Answer is 16 Squares

Generous Old Lady

An old lady always gave the bus conductor Cashew nuts, Almonds to eat.Conductor: “So kind of u that you give me those nuts to eat everyday.

Why don’t you eat them yourself?”

Old Lady: “I don’t have teeth to munch them.

“Conductor: “Then why did you buy them?”

Old Lady: “I just love the chocolate around them!”

Son wants to become a king

5 year old son…..after reading story of a king…..
Son:……Mom, I also want 5 wives…..one will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me…….
Mom:….And one will put you to sleep
Son:..No mom, i will still sleep with you
Mom’s eyes filled up with tears … God bless you son 
Mom:…but who will sleep with your 5 wives
Son…Let them sleep with daddy
Daddy’s eyes filled up with tears… God bless you son !

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

No mercy for Politicians 

A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery,loses control and crashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians, he buries them.
The next day, the police come to the farm to question the man. “So you buried all the politicians?” asked the police officer. “Were they all dead?”
The farmer answered, “Some said they weren’t, but you know how politicians lie.”

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