Husband Wife Jokes

Hidden desire

A girl at a bus stop spotted a handsome man and without hesitation went to him and said ” you look cute.. I like you.”…. The man out of shock simply placed his hand on her shoulder and said “My dear, this love and infatuation are all nothing. You are too young to be behaving like this. Pls go home and study hard so that you can have a successful life.”
He then placed a piece of paper on her hand and said ” I have written some words of wisdom and bible verses for you. Read them before you go to sleep.” And then he walked away.

The girl went back to her hostel in shame and before she slept she opened up the paper and read thus: “Are you blind? My wife was standing behind me. Any way, this is my number. Call me anytime…… By the way, I like you too!”

Marriage Jokes

Intelligent Husband
.
Wife was busy in packing her clothes.
.
Husband – Where are you going ?
.
Wife – I’m moving to my mother.
.
Husband also starts packing his clothes.
.
Wife – Now where are you going ?
.
Husband – I’m also moving to my mother.
.
Wife – And what about the kids ?
.
Husband – Well I guess … If you are moving to your mother and I’m moving to my mother … They should move to their mother.
.
Clothes unpacked

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Wife : “why are u home so early?”

Hubby : “My boss said go to hell!”

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No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a
better model in neighborhood

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Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:

All girls are devils,
but my wife is the queen of them.

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Q – Why can’t Women Drive well? ?
Ans – Because there are so many mirrors in a car to distract them..

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Q – How to save a Dying Woman?

Ans – Tell her about a 90% Sale going on somewhere..

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Q – If a Woman is Quiet, which day is it?
Ans – Who Cares, just Enjoy that Day..

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The woman who invented the phrase …
“All men are the same”
was a Chinese woman who lost her husband in a crowd.

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There are 3 kinds of men in this
world.
Some remain single and make
wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened….

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Wives are magicians……..

They can change anything into an argument.

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Women live a Better, Longer &
Peaceful Life, as compared to men.
WHY?
A very INTELLIGENT man replied:
Women don’t have a wife!

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Story of Crochet a Doilies

There once was a man and a woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They talked about everything. They kept no secrets from each other… except that the old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she cautioned her husband never to open it or ask her about it.
For all these years he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would never recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside. She agreed it was time that he should know what was in the box.
When he opened it he found 2 beautifully crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling over $25,000. He asked her about the unusual contents.
“When we were married,” she said, ” my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily.”
The little old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with joy and happiness.
“Sweetheart,” he said… “that explains the doilies, but what about all this money? Where did it all come from?”
Oh,” she said, ” that’s the money I made from selling the doilies.”

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