Wife

Marriage Jokes

Intelligent Husband
.
Wife was busy in packing her clothes.
.
Husband – Where are you going ?
.
Wife – I’m moving to my mother.
.
Husband also starts packing his clothes.
.
Wife – Now where are you going ?
.
Husband – I’m also moving to my mother.
.
Wife – And what about the kids ?
.
Husband – Well I guess … If you are moving to your mother and I’m moving to my mother … They should move to their mother.
.
Clothes unpacked

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Wife : “why are u home so early?”

Hubby : “My boss said go to hell!”

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No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a
better model in neighborhood

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Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:

All girls are devils,
but my wife is the queen of them.

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Q – Why can’t Women Drive well? ?
Ans – Because there are so many mirrors in a car to distract them..

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Q – How to save a Dying Woman?

Ans – Tell her about a 90% Sale going on somewhere..

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Q – If a Woman is Quiet, which day is it?
Ans – Who Cares, just Enjoy that Day..

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The woman who invented the phrase …
“All men are the same”
was a Chinese woman who lost her husband in a crowd.

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There are 3 kinds of men in this
world.
Some remain single and make
wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened….

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Wives are magicians……..

They can change anything into an argument.

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Women live a Better, Longer &
Peaceful Life, as compared to men.
WHY?
A very INTELLIGENT man replied:
Women don’t have a wife!

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Wife’s Birthday

Suddenly wife wakes up her husband @ 2 AM.
Wife:”who was heroine in film TRIDEV?
Husband :”Madhuri Dixit,Sangita Bijlani n Sonam”!!
Wife:what was the screen name of Kajol in Dil Vale dulhaniya le jayege? ?
Husband :”Simran”!!
Wife:”Kavita, residing our opposite flat,when did she moved in? ?
Husband :” Two months completed last Wednesday. …
But, why are you asking me all this in the middle of the night? ?
Wife:” Today was my birthday ”
“Silence”
“Pin drop Silence”

Typical Husband

One day I accidentally overturned my golf cart.

Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out:

Are you okay, what’s your name?”

“Its Phil and I’m okay thanks,” I replied.

“Phil , forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while and I’ll help you get the cart up later.”

“That’s mighty nice of you,” I answered, but I don’t think my wife would like it.”

“Oh, come on,” Elizabeth insisted.

She was very pretty, very sexy and persuasive . . . I was weak.

“Well okay,” I finally agreed, and added, “but my wife won’t like it.”

After a few restorative brandys, and some creative putting lessons, I thanked my host: “I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset.”

“Don’t be silly!” Elizabeth said with a smile:
“She won’t know anything.
By the way, where is she?”

“Still under the cart…………!!!”

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